Consumed

The idea of being babysat is appalling
especially to a college student
but I write this from a friend's couch
where I was watched all night
because I am "dehydrated"

The lie almost works
seeing my face has lost color
and I can't think
or speak
or walk
without having a bit of a stumble
embarrassing myself

While trying to sleep
five in the morning at this point
a friend told me that I should never
be ashamed of being sick
it wasn't like I brought this around

Not having the energy
nor the mind compactly
fighting those words seemed useless
I feel asleep in a lie
letting people believe I was good
if that would help them believe humanity
or sleep halfway decently

I ought to be ashamed
that I do this
that I wish to do it again
that right now
on a friends couch
it is all I am thinking about

I am comsumed