Freeze

Acknowledge this please
muffled cries for help
weakly begging
my mask betraying me
conforming to my face too well
becoming my skin
not that there is much left
maybe that's the motive
to remove something face
imaginary toxins
these are not new to you
but I am still defenseless
you do not have the strength to fight my battles
as well as your own

Freeze

Ask me questions
becoming the first
reclining
streetlights shining by the end
sharing bits of our stories
reserving hospital beds
one without flesh
the other without blood
always on red or higher
become the first to ask me to stop
staring in wide-eyed horror
seeing scabs
"make me proud"
after you down food
eating bites of terrible cake
pouting as I steal the check
smirking as I botch a lie
my straighter never so hated
cheering me up
screaming on a bridge
singing songs you didn't know
until you opened your mouth
posting feelings on a truck
not the one who saved us
from talking dolls
no buttons needed
things are easy with you
no concepts
just actions and memories
but I did not make you proud
I will never make you proud

Freeze

Tell me lies
knowing nothing
never stopped you from trying
nor me
from trying to fix
or judge
overnighters rendered meaningless
my brother-in-arms should understand
you honorably discharged
moving on to wars with pot
alcohol
and working out
while I fight juvenile battles with blood
which you are so sure you've won
liar
sharing music
I must scare you
the idea of me
how bad it can get
being this out of control
so reckless
wasting gauze and tape
you make me feel inhuman
making me an animal
gnashing my teeth
catching my tongue
clamping down
refusing my opinion
the blood not being a draw back
you cannot save me
you cannot even help me
humanity becomes me
I will help you
to gain goodwill
but you shall remain silent

Freeze

Ask me nonsense
am I okay?
am I hurt?
am I bleeding?
these questions
are meaningless
the answers being
no
yes
and if I'm not I want to be
every single time
without fail
you mean so well
giving me your number
to call anytime
but I'd first die
than disappoint you
we are not yet close
that close
close enough to be unashamed of my actions
but we can sing together
both asleep in the choir loft
make our countries go to war
talk frivolously
let's not go deeper
not yet
I'll care for you while drunk
without hesitation
but please don't care for me
I will hurt you

Freeze