Falling asleep,
letting your guard fall is a vulnerability, as is being too drowsy to fight of attackers,
but sleep is different.
Once your consciousness is gone that man can touch you in your pjs like before,
his knuckles hairy,
his hands too big.
You can be trapped in a room with him. His eyes hungry,
devouring your body after a bath.
If you let yourself drift into a dream,
the doctors can prod.
They can grope your chest
while you cry,
only for your distress to be answered by another man to silence you.
If you lose touch with reality he can pin you too his bed,
reminding you how you went to
his house.
His parent's weren't home,
what did you think
he was doing when he steadily unrolled a condom?
A second away and
she has her fingers inside of you again, because she cared about you,
and this is how she knew you cared too. You would have stopped
wearing skirts to school
if you didn't want her to touch there,
you would have
dumped her.
You would have ended the relationship, but you let her,
in front of your friends,
you let her.
Sedation means that the man in the hospital,
older,
white gown,
can grab your waist and
feel your breasts.
It's not his fault
the nurses echo,
he isn't all there.
Maybe you should stay in your room.
Going to bed means
greedy hands roaming over your skin, even if there is less to grope.
Rest means waking up in a cold sweat, quickly checking your panties position, and scanning the dark room for predators.
I do not sleep.
